I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
