After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
birth control should be required to get into college
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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