Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
