Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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