You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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