The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
