somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
