There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We have started to decorate penises.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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