somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
