The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
