eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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