Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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