I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
