can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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