This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
ttyl tear gas
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
