seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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