All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
