never play flip cup with pint glasses
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
