It's Friday. Sex?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
