Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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