My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
