yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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