if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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