You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
