if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
