he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
