Capitaan dildo arrescate!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
