I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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