dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
