i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
so much tequila, so little girl.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
