i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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