We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
