i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
