Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
