Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
