I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
