More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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