omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
false alarm. still invincible.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
