hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
