he wants to bone in the snuggie
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
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