Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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