i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
