It's like God shit irony all over that family
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
