Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize