You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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