Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
