All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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