oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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