Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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