It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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