is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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