Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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