they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
