Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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