Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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