I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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