At least make sure they are 18
Why
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
