but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
