I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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