So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
