Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize