I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
