saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
