I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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