there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
