She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
