she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
