He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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